A message to the younger me

When I was in high school, a friend asked me what kind of career I would be pursuing in the future and the foolish me answered almost in no time that any career would be fine as long as it was not a teacher.

I seemed so convinced back then. With the naive-most likely mengarah ke idiotic- my way of thinking, I simply correlated ‘teacher’ with ‘study continously for the rest of our life till I go bald and covered with wrinkles’ so that got me be like,...”Thanks but hell no”

lol, little did I know that life was one giant joke which put constant changing and eternal learning as its main prank. So, here is the message for the my younger self:

“You are screwed, sucker!!!” *literally doing an LOL to the point cries my eyes out while laying under my working desk.

Does anyone remember the famous Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? No?

Picture taken from here

There, take a look!

The high school version of me only revolved around breathe-eat-sleep-repeat cycle. Not much but that felt enough for me. I mean, I didn't have much to think of or to stress out. My biggest problem was just in the level of ‘how to watched naruto behind my father’s back since it was aired during magrib time’.

How about now?

Well, the cool part of being an adult is...I can watch everything I want whenever I want. Naruto, One Piece, Hey Arnold, Game of Thrones??? You name it (but please don't tell my father)

But, well...there is –of course- the slightly uncool part either which in my case is the growing needs. lol

Remember that one scene from the Avenger 1 where that professor got his mind ‘opened’ by the tesseract influence? –another geek reference- -ignore it-

The point is, the more we age the more our mind grows. The more we know things the more we –think that we- need things. From basic needs to self esteem to self actualization. Ambitions.

Foods and sleeps are no longer enough once you’ve acquired all of those constantly. You want more thus you set more, higher. For me-you can laugh in this part- I strongly believe that the worth of a soul depends on how it becomes a good use to others. I project this idealism almost on every aspect of my life, especially on my job. The bad news is, I put this stupid idealism right on the same stack as my self-esteem and self actualization needs so the worse news is, I feel the need to achieve that or else, I will think that my whole existence is a failure -I blame u Maslow-. So, in order to 'survive', I have to study. Literally. And in this case, ridiculously hardly.

How come? Well, let me explain:

As you guys already know, I’ve just switched my job.

Now I am working as a strategic planner for Indonesia Investment Coordinating Board with a civil servant status. Sounds lame, eh?

lol

We haven’t even reach the interesting part yet so hold your grin.

Because: (1) the basic principal of civil servant is a ‘generalist’ and not a ‘specialist’ so we are expected to learn everything; (2) civil servant placement has a unique calculation system; (3) civil servant isn’t allowed to say 'no' to order; and (4) God has a good sense of humor,

Here I am, assigned under Agribusiness and Other Natural Resources Planning Directorate, Specialization: Energy.

The first time I participated in the internal meeting, my superiors talked about gas and oil regulation system, in which, I swear, I just stared idiotically with my jaw opened –unconciously- because I had no idea what they were talking about.

What the hell is Kontraktor Kontrak Kerja Sama? What the hell is PTK Pengoperasian dan Pemeliharaan Pipa Penyalur Minyak dan Gas Bumi? KP, KK, PKP2B Pertambangan Umum? What do those abbreviations stand for???

.

I probably go crazy if I don’t study.

But I will more likely go crazy too if I decide to study.

.

Damn you, Maslow. Lol must – low. Who name you dat?? (see, I go crazy) (sorry, Mr. Maslow, please don't hate me)