Side Effect

Well…face it, only within a week and I already have another story to be shared

Yeahhh I can’t believe that i can be this productive at this storytelling, tsurhat, crap too

So, I just did this chit chat with my step brother this morning. Started with ‘damn you’ ‘damn you too’ conversation for like an hour and then unconsciously it jumped to other direction. And by other direction I mean something more serious such as work things, commitment, and… faith.

He asked me how’s work and yeah I told him that these past four months have been really hard because I need to manage three projects at the same time.

It is not like i really want it but my boss thought that I should handle these projects because –Ughhh- nobody as experienced as me on macro economic.

Don’t trust the reason anyway

-To be honest, I actually have suspicion on this reason from the very beginning.  More experienced??? I have learnt macro economic for only six months for God's sake (!)-

I could smell his concerns toward me. He said I need to limit my personal ‘mental’gila.kerja’ trait and start to build a relationship so I’ll have someone who’s gonna lend me his shoulder.

He sent me this pic,

He said he doesn’t want me to be like that, ever.

He said -indirectly- that I have lost when I told him that "I already experience point one and while I’m dealing with that point, my friends keep shrinking and shrinking every single day -yeah i noticed-, so that’s a positive sign for point two."

He kept telling me that we are nothing but a very tiny part of this world. We shouldn’t push everything too hard.

God already has plan for us, a better plan that maybe we’ve never imagined. All we need to do is praying for the best and living our life in balance.

He said, I can’t keep force my self to do this ‘unbalance’ commitment and start to think about the fact that sooner or later every woman needs to be married and builds a family.

Well..whenever someone offends my choice, I got upset

But knowing that the only reason he told me these things is because he cares about me, it really makes me sad.

Maybe what he was said is right that I am lost

but on the other hand, I really feel like this is who I am. I can't push away this darker side just because he told me to.

my fried, my dear friend

thanks for being such a great friend,

but as I ever said...everyone has priorities. And at this moment..my priority has nothing to do with marriage or... kids.

every medicine has its own side effect, so do act.
and yes...i am counting my luck while my other side is chasing her ambition


i wish that someday i could build my own family too 
play with my toddler, eat dinner together, take a walk with my husband in a beautiful park , lend shoulder for each other..*ah man, i think im gonna throw up hahaha*

Thanks Bro, Really


P.S.: sorry for my loose -nearly broken- English. I have to push my self to use English because I really need to practice this crap