Lesson Learned

Dramatic-Delusional Mode: ON LOL Hi Guys! It’s been a while (well, more than a while I guess) since I last posted about random-unimportant stuff here. How’s life? Surprisingly enough, it is safe for me to say I am fine. It’s been sooo long and to be honest, I am a bit ashamed by the fact that I just hid in my cave for hundred years and abandoned this sanctuary of mine – baca: blog usang tempat tsurhat in a very childish way- just because I was too scared of some new facts I’d learned about this so called layff. So, why today? Why I show up once again? Well, because it is tiring tho, being idle. lol. Plus, I have so much things to share actually. Okay, enough with the confession intro. Let’s go straight to the topic. Sugar Coating? I remember once I wrote here that I wanted to share things about my new job and my new life in this Mighty Jekardah as a program evaluator of this –as Mighty- Ministry. How is it going, really? Hahaha, Well, lemme describ

I thought that American dream only existed in American land. But don’t be fooled like the past me, my friend, the place I am in right now is just as fierce yet magical as the one Britney Spears is living in (ya Allah referensi gue) Living in Jakarta, nah, scratch that, living in this little cubicle called The Ministry of National Development Planning is the same as living in the galaxy of any kind of nerd you will not even think of once in your life –moreover if you are as ignorant as me lol- People pursue their dream, literally, hardly. They are determined and convinced about their endeavour without a single doubt reflected in the eyes. They love the concept of working hard and pushing the limit. Ambition is a pride and achievement is the trophy. Feeling intimidated already? Well..I haven’t even talk about their set of lifestyle. lol For them, competition is an intriguing game. Their daily lunchbreak conversation consists of ideas, world-problem-solving-alternatives, a

“Kak, U there?” “Yep, what is it?” “My partner for years just dumped me.” “No way.” “Funny isn’t it? at first he said he couldn’t stand an LDR, but then he said he was bored, and God only knew how our convo took a turn to where he complaint about my acne(s), then my messy hair, and then even my weight. Am I really that ugly? I am crying while doing work right now.” “You are not ugly.” “Yes I am. My face is horrible. He even demanded me to visit a skincare clinic.” “Fuck that ganjel pintu mushola and fuck what he said. Emang itu ulegan terasi secakep apa berani2nya ngatain anak orang ugly?!” “Kak, I don’t even have any confidence right now. I am ugly.” “Stop it. You are good-looking and some acne doesn’t even make U look ugly, even a bit. And for the record, I say it not because I pity U. U better believe my words or else, you categorize me as a liar.” “No, I am ugly T.T” Do U know what the silly part is? The convo went for more that half an hour which consi

Trying to escape the pouring rain but you can't Looking around for a shelter but none is in sight All you can do is freezing on your feet, Lower your head, wish the drop of water on your face won't break you inside, Mumble in silence, reassure yourself none of it matters. None of it is freakin matter.

A friend ever asked me what my dream for the future is and I automatically said that I wanted to be happy. He thought for a minute and then replied: “ if your dream is to be happy, isn’t it implied that you are not happy today, in the present?” Then I thought, and I thought and I thought. He was right. Soon I realized that happiness was not something you seek as a goal, but something that glued to the process, whatever the goal was. *lalu emak gue sukuran since anaknya mulai menunjukkan tanda-tanda kewarasan lol God is merciful Thus, He designs happiness as something that has no boundary nor minimum standars. A granny who sells mineral water at some conjunctions can be happy eventhough she has no money nor health insurance. A newspaper boy smiled widely after someone who bought his newspaper told him to keep the change. He was happy regardless how relatively unlucky he was, compared to other young boys. This granny and this boy have the same chance as much as o

Waw, my life sure as busy as I tried to imply It is already a month and all I can post on this blog is one single abstract writing about something so random in life. Pardon me since you have no choice but to keep up with my absurdness (is absurdness even a word? l ol) Okay, let’s fill this blank space with another life experience which successfully drained all my energies for the last couple of weeks. Oh well, pulling our sights back to the title of the entry there you can find a piece of life experience I’ve mentioned earlier. A huge survival attempt to maintain our existence I choose this phrase to represent my situation after my messy move - out to Jakarta a month ago. Who said that survival attempt is only required in pre-historic era when earth is mostly covered by jungle -and water, of course-  and cavemen are still alive? In this era, where we are living in the jungle of skyscrapers and have to share the same air with thousands or even billions other human