Lesson Learned

I’ve built a very thick wall, Put on a mask and wore suit of armor. I’ve hided my heart, buried it in a really deep place I didn’t remember it existed. Yet, still…those weren’t enough. I’ve been getting knocked very hard, very hurt. I’ve been getting smashed so many times I don’t know how to survive this battle. Mom, I need a pain killer. I need a pain killer to keep me sane, I need a pain killer to light the solitude that haunts me every night. Mom, I am injured. I am injured pretty bad I don’t know how to survive this gamble. I thought I’ve prepared but by the end of the day those scary things come and stay. They won’t go away.

   Picture Source Well well well, Akhirnya part terakhir dari seri favorit gue, The Hunger Games, keluar juga. Gue yang tahun lalu dibikin geregetan sampai-sampai ingin menggigit penonton di belakang gue yang berisiknya sudah kayak lagi main gaplek di pos ronda, pada akhirnya bisa move on dari memaki2 part 1 yang kerasa dipanjang2in dan menyucikan hati untuk menonton Mockingjay Part 2 ini *btw, cara ngasih imbuhan pada kata dasar ‘suci’ gimana sih?* As a fan –tolong jangan ngebayangin kipas angin- saat detik-detik awal film diputar dan melihat muka Katniss nongol dengan mode zoom in maksimal di layar dan suara serak yang ngebikin gue berpikir ‘anjir.horror.banget.ini.gue.salah.masuk.studio.apa.begimana’ gue mendadak merasa khawatir bahwa gue akan kecewa dengan seri finale ini. Alasannya? lol I have no idea. A woman doesn’t need any logical reason to be unreasonable, though. *kemudian nama gue distabilo sama semua feminist di akhirat lol* Thank God firasat gue salah. D

(No, this post is not  about Adele's newest song. So please get back here and stop rollin on that floor for Taylor's sake) Dear, you The one who has been being -so called- my secret admirer since about 2 or 3 days ago. First of all, excuse me because from this point forward, I’ll use English entirely to avoid such awkwardness –yes, writing letter for a total stranger is kinda awkward for me, so once again pardon my pride- and second of all, there is no sarcastic meaning intended in this writing so if you find this post of mine is offensive, please don’t be. As a preface, I want to say thanks - a lot - for the gift you left on my desk and the chocolate ice cream you’ve put in the PSPPR fridge, that was very very sweet of you. Believe it or not, everyone in my room is losing their mind right now, trying to figure out who you really are. But it’s okay, I am totally fine since no one has this urge to kill me and bury me yet because of their unsolved curiosity. An

05 November 2015 Jogjakarta Setelah sekitar sebulan gue berusaha keras untuk tetap waras, akhirnya bulan November datang juga. Oktober telah berhasil ngebikin gue encok *ini makna literal* gegara dia suka banget bercanda d engan ngebikin gue harus melakukan perjalanan Jogja – Jakarta – Jogja - Madiun Magetan – Jogja – Bandung – Jogja – Lubuk Linggau Musi Rawas Utara – Jogja hanya dalam rentang waktu kurang dari sebulan. Dan sebelum puas mengumpati oktober gue yang seabsurd video clip Peanut Butter Jelly nya Galantis, November datang dengan kejutan lainnya. Kejutan kali ini bukan menyasar tulang ekor dan tulang punggung gue, melainkan menyasar langsung ke otak dan saraf. November datang dengan beberapa kabar pernikahan. Kabar perpisahan. Tiga sahabat deket gue akan menikah beberapa bulan lagi dan akan meninggalkan Jogja. Itu artinya, Im all by myself . Setelah 6 tahun bersama-sama di Jogja, mengumpati dunia dengan segala humornya yang sebenernya nggak lucu, mereka memut