Dear My Friend

Jogjakarta, January 6^th 2016

Dear my dearest friend,

a letter? really? yeah I know. I could imagine your expression the time you find this letter. Really, I could picture it quite well -.-

Uhm, I decided to write this letter so I could tell you what I want to say since you never picked up your phone every time I called and I assumed that you were really busy preparing for your wedding *fyi, this one sounds like Adele’s Lyric in Hello though, now I can relate to Adele’s feeling when that black dude never answer her call. But never mind, I deserve that anyway*

On Sunday, December 31^th I counted that it was almost 2 weeks since we didn’t talk to each other and I thought “Well…I guess I messed up pretty serious this time. I should apologize to her tomorrow at the office, on Monday.”

But things didn’t go as I expected.

Long story shortened, I went to the office on Tuesday only to find out that your contract was over and you won’t go to the office anymore. I spaced out for about 5 or 10 minutes on my desk anyway.

I was checking my calendar when suddenly realized that 2015 was over. Your time here was over too yet my stubbornness kept me busy and I did not aware that I fucked up for too long that time.

That was my first stupidity.

I still remember that saying, the one that mention about “without that one particular person, our life could be totally different from the way it is now”

You are one among those people who make my life different, in a better way of course.

We are friend.

We both loved music. We both craved over movies. Our minds both grew under west culture influence. We built similar dreams. We struggled under similar situations and we stood up upon our goal although sometimes we fell and wrecked. 

You shared with me your favorite TV serials. You gave me stuff. You bought me food. You called me with some stupid nicknames and you even supplied me Game of Thrones for God’s sake I suddenly realize how important you are to my worthless life.

Among 7 billions human species on this planet, I only have 3 closest friends. I am really talented don’t you think?

Based on that miserable fact, I know that I don’t really understand how a friendship works. I think that in a friendship, quarrel is just a normal thing. I mean, we are friend. We mess up but then we make up. We argue about something but then we work it up. After all we are only mere human who keep doing mistakes. And above all, I think the important thing is that you know my weaknesses really well and I know yours as well so we are going to be okay.

That is my second stupidity.

I upset you.

But sincerely, I thought it wasn’t a big deal and it wouldn’t affect you the way it actually did.

So for that I deeply apologize to you.

The fact that you are not here anymore and I don’t have any chance to say sorry directly to you makes this harder to me.

I know that I acted like a spoiled brat back then. If only I knew that things would turn out this way, I must’ve talked to you in the first place.

Please forgive me for every mistake I did and please do not shut me up for such an uncertain length of time. It scares me.

It is fine with me if you want to ignore me for another week or another month. But please do not erase me for ever.

Okay, I guess that’s it.

I would really glad to go to your wedding if you want me to. And I would not go if you don’t want to.

Just let me know.

I hope this letter doesn’t take too much of your time and I wish that your wedding preparation goes well.

 

Regards,